The Positivity Scale: Effects of Faking

Alright, well i just got a job at Greenpeace doing canvassing and i'm already done, lol. I'm starting to notice this pattern that i'll explain in a minuite. Basically with canvassing it requires one to be in a positive happy mood for roughly 5-6 hours trying to get people on the street to give your thier credit card or bank account info to give monthly donations... so obviously you can imagine how few people you get. In order to keep your job you have to get 3 people within the first 3 days then have 3 people a DAY sign up as members. Now thats actually not so hard if you know wat you're doing and i did, lol. The reason i took this job is because i'm good at sales. I understand psychology and can fake emotions and reactions....problem is i HATE it because when i do it i hate myself. At first i figured it was because i was doing it for a meaninless cause (making a rich company richer), so i figured if i did it for a good cause, like trying to get people to help save the environment then it'd be fine. Unfortunatly thats not the case. First of all i HATE being dishonest, i like and respect who i am and i find it insulting to "fake" myself but more importantly is the "positivity scale". Take a scale like -100-------------0--------------100 where 100 is SUPER positive and happy and what not while -100 is like SUPER depressed angry and negetive. So normally for me, instead of riding the "emotional rollarcoaster" to catch the highs of the scale i usually just stay consistant near zero (usually at around maybe 10) and try to slowly and incrementally work my way up the scale so i can reach the higher states and fall back on ZERO instead of going into the negetives. So here's the problem. When you FORCE yourself into the higher states, when you put on artificial positivity and push the scale, in order to balance it out it throws you equally as far in the opposite direction. I noticed on my first day i forced happiness and positive emotions when i wasn't really feeling them and the more i forced it the more negetivity built up and when the day was over I felt like a fallen angel, full of hate and disgrace (mostly for myself, but it extended to everything around me). So i've decided to stay FAR away from anything that requires me to fake my personality or feelings so as to avoid these emotional highs and lows. Honesty is SOOO important for spiritual progression and reaching higher planes, it's really not just to be obediant lying fuck with your head. you keep lying to everyone you begin to believe yourself, then you're lying to yourself... and THAT is bad, because if you're constantly lying to yourself how can you tell wats really you and wat isn't...then you become a slave to influence and give up all your personal power for the illusion of control. Sad...

Feels like i've "been" before

I've been getting the strange feeling lately that i've existed before. Now i mean, like, i believe in reincarnation, so i'm sure my consciousness has existed before, but i feel like my personality, the essense of what defines me, has existed before. I keep getting this feeling that i once had all this power and such and ...i feels like i've lost it and i keep trying to get it back. It's definatly wierd. Also i finally begun meditating again. I don't know why i was so hesitant, it feels GREAT! :) I mean i sucks because as soon as i feel i'm in a trance my legs are cold and limp from cut off circulation, so i'ma hafta find a position i can comfortably meditate in. I always feel very peaceful after doing it, though for some reason i am at times hesitant to do it.
You know thats another funny thing i noticed. I notice that at times i'm attracted to that which i know will kill me faster...i have no idea why. For some reason self-destruction is more comfortable than self fortification...it's like my battle is to stop doing things that are harmful to me. I mean it sounds stupid, like "if you know wats good for you then just do it", but i keep having these urges to do self-destructive things (not so much anymore, this is more of a past tense of self and present tense of society). thankfully after fasting and with my new mindset, i've been getting a "taste" for healthy living, lol. Perhaps unconsciously we want our life to end so we are attracted to the things that kill us slowly? I dont know, i just thought that an interesting observation. Maybe it's all of the positive feelings that are unconsciously associated with it through the media, like smoking being associated with sexual, manly, acceptance, and coolness. What a sick fucking world.

Day 7-10 and afterwards

BAHahaha, i TOTALLY forgot about this thing. Yeah anyway, fast is over, i'm on mostly tea and soup righ now. Energy is beyonf belief :). I really didn't change much in the last few days of the fast. No revelations, no breakthroughs...DID finally play left 4 dead...didn't really care too much 4 it. But uhhh. Yeah came off the fast with blueberry pomegrante juice (pasteurized) and got a sore throat from it, so i've been doing tea and some hommade veggie soup along with some solids. I'm really trying to rush my digestion back to normal because I've already been wasting enough time. Luckily today is a nice day of rest.
I've been taking more and more interest in TCM, Martial Arts and Yoga lately and can feel my intuition puling me in that direction, so i'm going to start working toward it. Right now though i kinda need a consistant job with consistant pay so i can get on a ruitine. I used to think ruitines are traps and destroy the beaity of life, but i'm realizing now, they are the only way to make progress and without them no progress is made. So i'm looking to get some easy day job that pays well and perferably isn't sedetary and then start getting some yoga and taichi lessons while finding a TCM guy/gal who is REALLY good at massage :).
I swear man, the more i live the stronger this feeling of "Life is a virtual reality game we're all trapped in" becomes. I really feel like my body is just some avatar that i control and use to experience this world.
I've also taken a HUGE interest in herbs... no NOT hallucinatory herbs, lol. I think with the use of certain herbs in certain combinations i think i could really maximize my body's potential. Especially with a particular theory i have. Now, back during the like 3 weeks i actually did weed there were times we made brownies. How that worked was we'd get some oil (like canola) and we'd heat it up, put in the weed and let it simmer for like 20 mins, then use that oil in the brownie mix. the REASON we did that was because the active ingrediant in weed (what gets you high), THC, is absorbed into the oil so thus you can get alot of it in concentrated form. Then since the brownies have little fat or fiber, thus absorb quickly, so does the THC. Now I have to wonder if that could be true for OTHER herbs. For example herbs that detoxify or prtect the liver or kidney or enhance breathing or digestion... i wonder if they could be super concentrated as well making kinda like an 'immediate effect" formula instead. Usually herbs are supposed to build up in your system over time and THATS thier power whereas drugs work almost immediatly, but i wonder if you could do it diff. just a thought. But anyway yeah. To anyone who does a fast on water and wishes to break it i would HIGHLY recommend tea and soup broth over juice unless the juice is raw and freshly squeezed. Also it's prolly better to use cirtrus fruits like lemon water and orange juice as they work as appetite suppressors which may counteract the enourmous urge to eat afterward that most people get.
Oddly enough i didn't have a physical urge tp eat the solid food i have eaten so far, i'm mentally trying to force it so my digestion gets back up to par and so i can start building my body up again.

day 6

HAHAHA i'm begining to notice how AWEFUL my timing was in starting this. to anyone reading this who is considering more than 3 days on water PLAN AHEAD! I have really been overexerting, running, extended periods of standing through a boring lecture, LOL. No but seriously stuff like this should be prepared for ahead of time, not just to prep your mind but to prep your environment and responsibilities. This should be a time of rest man, but i'm hoppin around like i'm just the same as usual. And i'll say i have noticed that that mindset, not taking anything seriously has really helped me stay onthis thing. I'm really starting to get some food cravings for like salads with nuts and vinegrets, also i really wanna try making a hoagie with soy meats, soy cheese and "veganaiise". I think i'd taste REALLY good. I'm not so much more worried about my physical state anymore, like whatever fat that maybe bothered me a bit or my skin condition. Honestly i don't look to fasting for that, i think i'd rather use something like ayurveda or TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) for that and other health aspects and just let fasting be for spiritual reasons and such. Don't get me wrong i'm still going to continue to day 10, but shit 30?! with the fast pace my life is starting to take idk if thats the best idea...not saying it's not possible but perhaps not so nessecary. I'm DEFINATLY feeling the peace and love and natural "child-like" state. I still admire life but still view everything as an illusion, i just can't shake that feeling, even when i'm eating. Physically not much change, lost about 3-5 lbs, stomach is flat as a board, ribs are showin...noting out of the ordinary. I'm actually getting signs of physical hunger and the coating on my tougne is going away. I'm also drinking more water. As i feel thirstier. So i don't know... mentally i'm still in the same place with more peace and happiness. OH AAAAAAND i found out which path I personally want to take spiritually. It's not 100% yet in sense of "this first, that next" but i def found out the diff things i wanted to learn and use to develop myself. Alot of it was previous interest of my, but was blinded and forgotten by my newfound interest in other techniques. By learning that i still love being around people and helping and teaching, i've realized that i probably won't end up retreating to some isolated mountain or whatev for the rest of my life, i've decided that i'll go out and learn and serve and love (the threefold path) Reach enlightenment or oneness with "God", then come back and find the best way to serve others. my idea is to have a degree in either TCM or ayurveda (or both) and use that to get to know people who are obviously dissatisfied with the way they are and help heal and teach them. Also i was thinking about getting a degree in philosophy and psychology and maybe becoming a professor...or something along those lines. I was at temple with vince today and i was sitting in on like a "eastern religions' course and it was so stupid. The teacher was a complete ditz who obviously didn't care at all about what she taught and i could tell the kids didn't take it very seriously at all either. It was so mechanical, it was dead. It was all facts and no feeling. It was all about memorizing hard-to-pronounce names and remembering historical dates rather than understanding what they meant or what the goal of people were or what thier philosophy was. Typical, and i didn't expect much out of it, but it was fun none the less to introduce the concept of some of the ACTUAL PRACTISES such as meditation, yoga, fasting, karma, reincarnation, etc just in case anyone was actually interested in what they were studying.
Anyway this ends day 6. 3 more and i'll have reached my minimal goal. I actually already feel in control of myself, so technically i've already reached it, but at the same time i gotta finish what i started. SO...the fun continues

Day 5

Phew man today was tiring. I'm noticing the effect of tapping into my normal strength, and it's REALLY exhausting. Had a dream that played this polyphonc symphony with like 3-5 parts and i remember hearing them all at once...it was beautiful, unfotunatly i forgot it when i woke up. Just more motivation to learn lucid dreaming :). Also i had a strange experience where my pits smelled lik peaches, it was AWESOME ,lol. but it only lasted for a few hours. Still haven't taken an enema but the bowl pains have stopped.
I walked tonight with vinny and sam. They smoked weed while i just lay in the field and listened to them open up. I began to realize how deep sam goes and how much we think alike, it was really neat to hear him open up...he's usually not one to talk. Shame cause his ideas and thoughts are REALLY...powerful? idk, he speaks with wisdom. But yeah we did alot of walking and my body almost shut down on me a few times. MAD nausia and weakness. But now i'm fine, i'm chilling wit vince playing Metal Gear Solid 3. he's also teaching me some massage basics which i REALLY wanna learn.
Lastly i'm begining to lose that incredible drive i once had, now i'm just kinda flowing with it. I'm not sure i'll be able to go on a raw food diet after the fast but i'll DEF go vegetarian/vegan because it just tastes SOOOO good. Plus it still have a long time to complete major life changing goals. I'm begining to connect more with the idea of staying connected with people and helping them find happiness and peace over just shunning them all and finding my own ascention. Don't get me wrong, my goal is still to break the cycle of reincarnation and reach enlightenment as early as possible to i have plenty of time to help others, but at the same time...i don't think cooking my food will prevent me from doing that, though it may hurt my body, one of my goals is to use spiritual "magic" to keep my body nurished and healthy and not be entirely dependent on the physical. Thats where i'm at now, who know's how my mind will change as i progess. Also 40 days seems like quite a journey... maybe something more like 23 or 25 would be better. The reason i say this is that i'm begining to feel hungry again, lol. With this added burden i can no longer garuntee that i'll make it 30-40 days. Perhaps if i summon back the mindset i began this with i'll last longer, but i'll have to pley it by ear. Again i WILL make it 10 days at LEAST. How far after that i'll only be able to gauge after day 10. but tomorrow is day six, i'm more than half way there and i still feel exelent. I'm seeing closer to 15 right now. Hopefully in time that will extend, but again only time will tell.
So here ends day five. Very tiring, but i'm sure tomorrow will be better. Still have plenty of stregnth left :)

day 4 (late)

He-eeeey yeah this is technically day 5 because last nitgh gramps got on the computer for like 5 hours which he spent most of his time just sitting in the computer chair talking on the phone and NOT interacting with the computer, lol. So i ended up falling asleep. ANYWAY,
Day four was pretty much like day 3. Played some yugioh again, that was fun but staring at the screen started to give me a headache :p. Then i went up to my mom's so i could read her the essene gospel of peace. I'm almost positive that she won't do anything after reading it because she's lost her power, but a guy can hope. While i was up there i went shopping with my stepdad and in the car he started to smoke. With my sharpened sense of smell i began to notice how rancid that shit really is, and how numb to it i really was in the past. The body's ability to adapt whether to poison or any other potentially harmful envirmonment is incredible.
Other than that i've been able to tap into my normal stregth still, but i costs me. I was still able to run, but found myself out of breath and i was still able to carry heavy objects but my muscles ached afterwards. It sucks because if i tell people i'm fasting they'll just bombard me with negetive energy like worry, doubt and fear, but if i don't tell them i have no excuse to nix out on everday activities. I understand now why they say to go away from society when you fast and "eschew the sons of man". Ignorant people are a pain in the ass to deal with.
Also a big question for me know is how do eat when i break this thing. I know i'm going to juice fast for half of the amount of time i water fast, so if i go for 40 days on water thats 20 days on juice before i introduce solids. The question is how do i eat afterward, Normally i was going to go raw vegetarian. However there's two conflicting opinions that bother me, There is the opinion of Christ who says not to cook or freeze your food, which i can understand because it does damage the nutrition and "lifeforce" (Ayurveda and TCM), however then there's the opinion of Yogis and a particular self proclaimed "enlightened master" who says once you reach enlightenment just eat vegetarian and the spirit will take care of the body. The other point i see in her arguement is that eating raw food is seen in most places as "radical" and puts you in a sort of "social isolation" from others. Eating, as you know, has become a social event amoungst human beings, instead of a way to survive. Simply vegetarian isn't so extreme and the meals can be made quite tastey allowing one to still be social with others and influence them and love them being a more noble path. While RAW vegetarianism may be the diet proclaimed by Christ, but you have to look at who he was talking to. He was talking to the essenes. the essenes were a "secret society" who's teaching went against alot of modern religions, so they were not social and they were usually in hiding. Perhaps for them, since they couldn't interact with society, it was better to be radicalists. However for most of us HERE, IN SOCIETY, it would be best NOT to be a radicalist and simply reduce the bad karma (don't eat meat and eat less food) and still be social with society so that we might better serve them ad help them find happiness.
A subject that will require some more thought. I'm definatly a social outcast by origin, but at the same time...i really do like helping people find answers and happiness. I just don't wanna be a "bitch" and pick the easy way out. Cooked vegetarian food tastes SOOOOO good. Anyone reading this should go out and buy a jar of "veganaiise", 12 grain bread, a tomato, some iceburg lettuce, and some peppered "tofurky" and make a sandwich outta that. You tell me thats not good and i swear to god.....i'll kill ya O.o LOL.
Last thing to mention is that as i started this fast i was very serious and depressed. Lately i've realized a more childlike state. Very fun :)
Anyway i'll post later tonight about how today goes...

day 3

O my God, what a difference! Today i woke up feeling the same as i went to sleep, weak, dizzy and nausious. However i began to shift my mindset. Instead of thinking of fasting as something to endure i began to see it as a fun adventure. i began to laugh about how much fun this was and began to feel very child-like about it. There's something to be said about that child-like state, not in the sense of immaturity but rather in light-heartedness. Hard to explain. Also i began to listen to some "Return to Forever" and "An Endless Sporatic" (jazz fusion groups) and the music REALLy got me moving :) Today i've had SO much energy it doesn't even feel as though i'm fasting. I actually ran up a hill today(got short of breath afterward) to go to Superfresh and carried home 8 glass bottles (750mL each) which was heavy but tolerable. Honestly this is the best i've felt in a long time. I still have some slight pressure pains in my bowls. I can tell i'll have to get that enema kit soon, somethin's a brewin, lol. I also had strange pains in my legs early in the day and i also smelled alcohol on my breath. I wonder if there's fruit fermenting in my bowls and the fermentation of the sugar is causing this?
Other than that i've been reading a book on theosophy. Interesting but i'm really more into the Essenes right now. I also wrote a small poem while i was outside just for the fun of it. I'll type it at the bottom. Lastly i had another strange dream last nite. My recollection of them seems to have increased. I was a sniper in a building looking at soldiers through a glass window. Previously i had a high powered semi-auto rifle with piercing rounds and amazing accuracy. When i entered the place where i'd snipe i was given a silenced sniper rifle. There were about 15-20 guards in this small room and they were all patroling in different fasions. I knew that if i shot, it would still make a sound as the glass would break, so i had to shoot someone that the other guards wouldn't notice. Unfortunatly i never got the shot. I saw Lucious Malfoy (from harry potter) walk in as a soldier, a commander. He got the soldiers into two rows and marched them out. Then i was no longer in the body of the sniper but rather without a body, just watching events unfold. Lucious was talking to some femal soldier...didn't know what they were saying. then the dream ended.
Oh and i walked around with vince today in superfresh. Saw all these great foods that i normally love, and i was able to say "yeah that stuff id good" without any desire to have it. I literally have NO cravings or desire for food at all. I really love how i feel.
Anyway this closes day 3. Tommorow i plan to hang out at Richards. He's a great guy i met through my mom who is real heavy on eastern philosophy. I'm usually very into it too, but lately i've really been more interested in Christ's lost teachings. it seems that these are actually CONSISTANT, lol. But yea today has been a blast, little weakness, no nausia...i feel great.

The sky a marvelous painting
A true work of art
The leaves upon a tree
The texture of it's bark
The comfortable grooves of the earth
lovingly caress my feet
The powerful warming presence
Of the the sun that i do meet
Low gravity world of water
Gymnatstics made a breeze
But the reality behind illusion
Is that i wish to sieze

A fleeting world of passing fun
A human body who's time has come
The sun will set the trees will die
The cruel detachment makes us cry
But through the tears and passing years
One begins to wonder
Where will i be when time comes for me
And my body a tomb to plunder

The body and mind, tools for existance
Manifesting in physical form
But the essence of our nature
Desicion making perciever
Suffers the deciever
And our true nomenclature
Forgotten

Day 2

Well now i'm FINALLY starting to feel it. Dizziness, fatigue, slight nausia and some burning in my lower throat (acid?). Today was alittle diff than i had originally planned, lol. I ended up sleeping outside last night because my grandad had someone use bleach and ammonia ont the bathroom floor which seeped into my room. It was like 40 degrees (F) and i didn't end up falling asleep until like 2 am under a tree. I woke up around 7am with alot more energy than normal (idk why) so decided to walk to CVS to look for enema kits. No luck so i just bought some apricots for gramps. I always feel funny entering a store then leaving without buying sumthing. I'm getting better at ignoring this irrational feeling though. I also noticed that when i warmed up i actually LOST energy. I wonder if the cold fuels me... idk but it's very uncomfortable and may actually be counter-productive. Fasting should be a time of rest and reflection...not a workout session.
So today i actually have just be lounging around and playing video games on the computer...pathetic, but the time is flying by. I may actually have to find a balance between them to keep my sanity unless i can find enough spiritual subjects to keep my mind moving. I may rely on naps instead of video games, that will give my mind rest, though perhaps the next few days i'll use them. I actually started dreaming about food too. I had a dream that i was in superfresh (though it looked nothing like it in layout) and i was buying Veganaise, peppered tofurky, 12 grain bread, lettuce, tomatoe and contemplating cheese. This was the sandwich which was offered to me when i recieved the "Convenient Method" by Thao Le. There were other people there making sandwichs ans they offered me one made of the above ingrediants...out of this world delicious. It's a shame i'm dreaming about food so soon, but at least it's healthy vegetarian food. I hope i don't start dreaming about hot dogs, sausages and steaks...THEN i'm in trouble, lol. No i'll be able to handle it. The body is a VERY adaptive creature. I'm sure in a few more days i'll be completely adjusted.
Last thing is i noticed my eyes are changing color. They're normal a deep brown with light rings around the edges. Well now there's less brown and more light coloredness. I read up on changing eye color and iridologists say it's due to the cleansing of tissue toxins. If this is true than i'm very glad. I was originally scared that i wouldn't be able to handle the toxic load and that the toxins would get stored in my muscle, joint or organ tissue, but perhaps i AM able enough. this makes me feel alot better. Also my water needs seem to have diminished. I've only drunk about 500mL today and my urine was clear. Well if nothing else this is a GREAT save on the budget LOLZ. I really need to find an enema kit and buy more waters though, while i still have my strenth. I don't know wats in store for me in the upcoming days so i'd like to be prepared if i have to be a slug for awhile, lol.
Day 2 at a close, a little tougher but still no match for my determinationa nd will power. Anger and frustration combined with the desire to be better(ambition) is a force to be reckoned with ;)

Day One

Pah, wat's there to say? No hunger, no pains or discomfort, more energy clearer mind, sharper senses. I think since i've already adapted to a low claorie diet, fasting isn't so much of a shock, however i AM now begining to feel a slight weakness. I still have energy just not readily available. The more i do the more energy will be released, so how much energy i have will be directly related with my will to do it. Did a salt water flush this morning with only 500mL and got some nasty gook out, unfortunatly it feels as though i didn't get everything out, so i'm doing a 1.5L one tonight, that should clear me out, then i'll have to find some method of enema.
It's funny i'm begining to see the world a bit differently than i usually do. I've had this strange feeling all day that life is just this HUGE video game. It feels as if this world is a virtual copy of another world just like most video game worlds are a copy of our world. But it's wierd i just don't feel like I'm my body like i usually do, i feel like ...idk i can't really word it, but it just doesn't feel like any of this is real. I mean...it seems like a dream world. I don't know...in our dreams we feel like we're in the situation we're dreaming of, yet our body is resting still...i wonder if in this world we feel as if we're in the situation we percieve to be real but our true selves are actually elsewhere. This isn't the first time i've thought like this, it's just staying with me longer. I also got a chance to stare at the setting sun, i could feel it's energy rushing in through my eyes. I always feel rejeuvenated and empowered after staring at the sun for a bit. Been doing it for over a year now and still no sign of ocular degeneration (poorer eyesight).
So, nothing special here, day one is done no sweat, i just walked around for awhile. Though actually i did notice that there were alot more distractions than usual. Lots of attractive girls, tasty food and people wanting my time...I've been keeping my thoughts on God and on my own life though. It seems this will also be a test of my focus. Obviously will do everything it can to cause me to fail, so i must keep my thoughts pure and focused, i can't get caught up in the world; this is a SPIRITUAL fast, not a worldly one. But anyway, I'm going to do another salt water flush and begin to go to bed. It's about 7 o clock and the sun id goin down so i figure after 2 hours on the can i should be in bed at 9, lol.

Silence before the storm

Actually far from it, lol. I'm playing my last day of guitar hero. Today i have been eating lots of fruit like peaches and dried berries and such to get in some potassium before the salt enema tommorow morning. I'm also printing out some teachings and writings of spiritual nature so i will have much to reflect upon and read during my fast. We are the result of what we think about. A man who constantly thinks about violence will be violent, a man who constantly thinks about sex will be sexual, a man who constantly thinks about god will be godly. So in this fast i'm going to be thinking about "God" and spiritual development so that my mind may stay on this topic after the fast as well. Fasting is not only great for reflection and healing but also for programming the mind. I don't believe the mind in and of itself has consciousness. I see the mind as a transmitter of information stored in cells, something that interprets information to a form usable by the body. I believe the Spirit is what makes decisions based on the information provided and the influences present. So as a spirit I will also be attempting to program my mind to serve ME instead of by body. Through this I hope to find it easier to keep my mind on my spiritual development and not get distracted as easily.


It's Nightime, i'm noticing INCREDIBLE energy, but i'm also noticing racing thoughts, doubt and a few other undesirable mental effects. I still haven't taken pics yet, waiting for mom to buy me a camera :p. I can tell this will be much more of a mental battle than a physical one. I've already prooved that my body feels better with less food, now I need to tame the wild stallion that is my mind and harness it's power so as to direct it in cooperation with my will. My mind fears that my organs will not be powerful enough to eliminate all of the excess toxins that will be dumped in my bloodstream. Of course it would be easier if I were doing martial arts and liver flushes and such months before but i'm not doing this to be healthy, i'm doing this to control my flesh. Remembering this will be the key to winning this battle. If i get obsessed with health, fear will consume me and i will lose. My mind will constantly try to make excuses to stop me from completing this fast for it serves my body, however once i show that I (the spirit) am superior it will serve me and my body will finally be realized for what it is...nothing but a vessel, a tool to complete work in this world.
I'm waiting for Vince to get back from Temple, so we can have a fruit feast. He's going to fast with me, though for how long i'm not sure. Physically he can easily last much longer than me, but mentally i'm not sure if he has the same kind of determination and drive. Also he'll prolly recieve alot of heat from his family. I'm fortunate that my grandad (whom i'm living with right now) respects my privacy and doesn't bother me, it's a blessing that i'm in the situation i am.

Alright i had some apricots, dates and some raw honey. I'm rather full fater such a small amount of food. A good sign for me, shows that my stomach has adapted and shrunk. I don't know if my mom is coming down or not or if i'll get the chanxe to take photos. Maybe i'll use Vince's phone. Anyway This is the close of tonite. I'm gonna talk wit vince and play the last of guitar hero.

Starting of Water Fast

As of October 1st 2009 I will be embarking on a spiritual journey. I will be fasting on water alone for a minimal of 10 days, but really am shooting for 30-40. This fast is going to demonstrate my dominance as spirit, over my flesh. For too long have I played victim to the powerful influence of my bodily urges. Through this spiritual fast I will be reflecting upon many things including the 7 Deadly Sins/8 Tempting Thoughts, Happiness, Freedom/Independance, Death, Ascension, Healing, Lifestyle, etc. During this time I will be spending most of my time outside in the woods where there is plenty of sunlight, water, soil and air. I will be drinking only water bottled in glass (plastic is actually rather toxic); the brand name is "Acqua Panna", its natural spring water bottled in Tuscany, Italy. I chose this because it was the only glass bottled spring water at superfresh and was only $1.79 per 0.75 liters O.o. I will be reading much documentation and writings of monks and spiritual adepts, also I will be praying and meditating daily, focusing my thoughts on love, happiness, praise, thanks and other positive feelings.


I will be taking measurements and photos tommorow so I can take note of any and all changes that occur during this journey. My diet so far has been on and off. The past couple of weeks have been rather bad; lots of meats, sugary foods and fried foods. Today and yesterday i have been eating raw cheese as to pack in some last min. fat and aminos. Tommorow I will be eating fruit only. I am eating fruit so i can get my potassium levels up for cellular hydration and to counter the salt water flush i will be doing to start off this fast. The morning of day 1 I will be doing a salt water flush, then every day after that for the next 7 days i will be doing a daily warm water enema using heated spring water from glass bottles. The enemas should eliminate any waste accumilated in the colon and ease the toxic load so my body can handle it. Upon breaking this fast I will be following a raw lacto-vegetarian diet and pursuing yoga, martial arts and healing arts.


Naturally my daily progress will be documented in my blog. I will probably write either upon awakening or at nite before rest.