The Positivity Scale: Effects of Faking

Alright, well i just got a job at Greenpeace doing canvassing and i'm already done, lol. I'm starting to notice this pattern that i'll explain in a minuite. Basically with canvassing it requires one to be in a positive happy mood for roughly 5-6 hours trying to get people on the street to give your thier credit card or bank account info to give monthly donations... so obviously you can imagine how few people you get. In order to keep your job you have to get 3 people within the first 3 days then have 3 people a DAY sign up as members. Now thats actually not so hard if you know wat you're doing and i did, lol. The reason i took this job is because i'm good at sales. I understand psychology and can fake emotions and reactions....problem is i HATE it because when i do it i hate myself. At first i figured it was because i was doing it for a meaninless cause (making a rich company richer), so i figured if i did it for a good cause, like trying to get people to help save the environment then it'd be fine. Unfortunatly thats not the case. First of all i HATE being dishonest, i like and respect who i am and i find it insulting to "fake" myself but more importantly is the "positivity scale". Take a scale like -100-------------0--------------100 where 100 is SUPER positive and happy and what not while -100 is like SUPER depressed angry and negetive. So normally for me, instead of riding the "emotional rollarcoaster" to catch the highs of the scale i usually just stay consistant near zero (usually at around maybe 10) and try to slowly and incrementally work my way up the scale so i can reach the higher states and fall back on ZERO instead of going into the negetives. So here's the problem. When you FORCE yourself into the higher states, when you put on artificial positivity and push the scale, in order to balance it out it throws you equally as far in the opposite direction. I noticed on my first day i forced happiness and positive emotions when i wasn't really feeling them and the more i forced it the more negetivity built up and when the day was over I felt like a fallen angel, full of hate and disgrace (mostly for myself, but it extended to everything around me). So i've decided to stay FAR away from anything that requires me to fake my personality or feelings so as to avoid these emotional highs and lows. Honesty is SOOO important for spiritual progression and reaching higher planes, it's really not just to be obediant lying fuck with your head. you keep lying to everyone you begin to believe yourself, then you're lying to yourself... and THAT is bad, because if you're constantly lying to yourself how can you tell wats really you and wat isn't...then you become a slave to influence and give up all your personal power for the illusion of control. Sad...