day 4 (late)

He-eeeey yeah this is technically day 5 because last nitgh gramps got on the computer for like 5 hours which he spent most of his time just sitting in the computer chair talking on the phone and NOT interacting with the computer, lol. So i ended up falling asleep. ANYWAY,
Day four was pretty much like day 3. Played some yugioh again, that was fun but staring at the screen started to give me a headache :p. Then i went up to my mom's so i could read her the essene gospel of peace. I'm almost positive that she won't do anything after reading it because she's lost her power, but a guy can hope. While i was up there i went shopping with my stepdad and in the car he started to smoke. With my sharpened sense of smell i began to notice how rancid that shit really is, and how numb to it i really was in the past. The body's ability to adapt whether to poison or any other potentially harmful envirmonment is incredible.
Other than that i've been able to tap into my normal stregth still, but i costs me. I was still able to run, but found myself out of breath and i was still able to carry heavy objects but my muscles ached afterwards. It sucks because if i tell people i'm fasting they'll just bombard me with negetive energy like worry, doubt and fear, but if i don't tell them i have no excuse to nix out on everday activities. I understand now why they say to go away from society when you fast and "eschew the sons of man". Ignorant people are a pain in the ass to deal with.
Also a big question for me know is how do eat when i break this thing. I know i'm going to juice fast for half of the amount of time i water fast, so if i go for 40 days on water thats 20 days on juice before i introduce solids. The question is how do i eat afterward, Normally i was going to go raw vegetarian. However there's two conflicting opinions that bother me, There is the opinion of Christ who says not to cook or freeze your food, which i can understand because it does damage the nutrition and "lifeforce" (Ayurveda and TCM), however then there's the opinion of Yogis and a particular self proclaimed "enlightened master" who says once you reach enlightenment just eat vegetarian and the spirit will take care of the body. The other point i see in her arguement is that eating raw food is seen in most places as "radical" and puts you in a sort of "social isolation" from others. Eating, as you know, has become a social event amoungst human beings, instead of a way to survive. Simply vegetarian isn't so extreme and the meals can be made quite tastey allowing one to still be social with others and influence them and love them being a more noble path. While RAW vegetarianism may be the diet proclaimed by Christ, but you have to look at who he was talking to. He was talking to the essenes. the essenes were a "secret society" who's teaching went against alot of modern religions, so they were not social and they were usually in hiding. Perhaps for them, since they couldn't interact with society, it was better to be radicalists. However for most of us HERE, IN SOCIETY, it would be best NOT to be a radicalist and simply reduce the bad karma (don't eat meat and eat less food) and still be social with society so that we might better serve them ad help them find happiness.
A subject that will require some more thought. I'm definatly a social outcast by origin, but at the same time...i really do like helping people find answers and happiness. I just don't wanna be a "bitch" and pick the easy way out. Cooked vegetarian food tastes SOOOOO good. Anyone reading this should go out and buy a jar of "veganaiise", 12 grain bread, a tomato, some iceburg lettuce, and some peppered "tofurky" and make a sandwich outta that. You tell me thats not good and i swear to god.....i'll kill ya O.o LOL.
Last thing to mention is that as i started this fast i was very serious and depressed. Lately i've realized a more childlike state. Very fun :)
Anyway i'll post later tonight about how today goes...