Huh...

Upon considering a vegan diet, cutting out milk and eggs, except perhaps a week or two of liver flushing, I've realized that i DO have cravings. I don't know what i'm craving but i've been craving something that dairy or eggs don't provide. Images of foods come to mind but when i think of how they taste and feel in my stomach i realize they are false. I don't know what my body is missing.
Another problem i've run into is prices. Living on dairy is extremely affordable, veganism may work thanks to frozen and canned foods, but raw veganism would be tough...unless sprouts were sufficient...hmmm. Yeah if I use plenty of sprouts and limit the greens and fruits then finnancially I should be fine, just gotta find a cheap bulk-supplier and clean water like i said in my last post.
I wonder if i should progress through cooked vegan to raw vegan first as to adapt my body. I wonder because last time i tried veggies they tasted aweful, but i remember back when i was first a raw vegan i started cooked vegan for awhile then progressed to raw, then went fruitarain but failed due to massive carb cravings(pasta, oatmeal, etc). Last time i ate green/fruit juices they didn't really digest, i just shat them out. I wonder if my body would have to re-adapt to be able to digest plant foods again...At the same time though this could just be an excuse for my mind to go back to the pleasure of cooked foods...I do feel rather separate from nature, when i consume raw plant foods, especially greens i almost feel like i'm bringing life back into my body. Though i would like to experiment with the "milk cure" too, part of the protocol is not to work.
On that note i've noticed that when at work my skin begins to act up. I wonder if it's stress induced. An old workmate from the bank began to show similar symptoms as me when he was going through a particularly stressful time in his life, ...idk. I have to get away from my job and find something that i can do that's less stressful and is something honest and sumthing i can agree with ethically.
Lastly I finally cried for the first time in roughly a year(though only for about 1min), which was very refreshing. I was looking at a picture of nature and envisioned myself out away from society with someone i loved (cliche i know). I felt uncomfortable, lost, lonely, and i just cried. While doing so i did feel a nice release, kinda like a tingling feeling in my chest that shot out through my upper body causing me to spasm slightly. Sa real shame i can't bring that to reality just yet, it really seemed like heaven, but i can't get there like i am now, the only way to get there is to better myself. Regardless the feeling was nice. my heart feels lighter, perhaps i'll sleep really well tonight.