Gotta change

Alright so i'm done with this. i've been getting some strange symptoms from all this dairy intake and the lack of fiber is apparent. the bananas work for fiber but when mixed with the cream i can't digest it, when there's no cream it tastes AWEFUL. The pain in the joints is apparent, I've been getting headaches lately, i feel..."heavy", and slightly sedated. I had an experience one night where i got up after a nap and i couldn't walk without getting short of breath and dizzy and my chest hurt. This is NOT sum "detox" my body is rejecting something or is getting addicted to something. After drinking about 5 glasses or warmed milk i felt better. It could have been a "withdrawl" from the opiods in dairy. I'm thinking of going back to trying sprouts. I just need a distilling mechanism for water. However I've noticed i have nearly no creaving for anything. there's a mental desire for spring rolls, but there's no physical desire. It could be that the opioids are giving me a 'fix" of "feel goods" or it could be that i just haven't had cooked food in a few weeks...idk.
Mentally my hunger for power has grown. My willpower has nearly double, my self hatred (directed at my percievable weaknesses/flaws) is acting up again, and my concern on what people think is nearly non-existant. I'm considering going out into the woods for awhile (i need a tent and sum other tools) and doing sum "training". Because of this I no longer care about diet as much as I used to. I know see that diet is merely support, auxillery to actually exercises. I no longer care about curing my skin or getting blue eyes or anything like that, all I care about is training my body/mind/spirit connection and transcending my limits. I no longer care about romantic love, money, food, games, or anything like that, all i want now is power. Once power is attained i can allow myself to enjoy other things, but in my current state i run the risk of addiction to and abuse of pleasure at the risk of my own health. Mortality must be overcome, physical and mental strength must be attained. i have to break my limits and transcend my humanity.
So again, diet-wise i'm thinking of maybe keeping sum yogurt for maybe once a week, but i'm going to buy bulk sprouting food such as beans, grains and seeds. I will begin by slowly reintroducing the chia which i will eat whole rather than ground up so it doesn't hurt my intestinal tract. I will most likely start with black beans and maybe kidney beans as they're easy to sprout. i may add barley or buckwheat, idk yet. more later...